As a parent, it can be devastating to see your child withdraw from life, their spark dimming as they struggle with sadness, irritability, or a loss of interest in things they once enjoyed. You might wonder: Is this just a phase? Or is there something deeper at play? While it’s normal for children and teens to experience ups and downs—especially during stressful times—a prolonged low mood can sometimes be a sign of something more significant, such as depression.
In moments of uncertainty, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure of what to do. But the good news is that with the right support, children and teens can learn to navigate their emotions, build resilience, and rediscover their joy.
Low Mood vs. Depression: Understanding the Difference
All children and adolescents experience times of sadness or frustration, but when these feelings persist over weeks or begin to interfere with daily life, they may signal depression. The key difference lies in the duration and intensity of the emotions.
Some signs that your child or teen may be experiencing depression include:
- Persistent feelings of sadness or irritability that don’t improve over time
- A noticeable loss of interest in hobbies, friendships, or activities they once loved
- Changes in sleep patterns, such as oversleeping or struggling to fall asleep
- A shift in appetite, eating much more or much less than usual
- Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or worthlessness
- Difficulty concentrating or a drop in academic performance
- Withdrawing from family, friends, or social activities
It’s important to note that younger children might express their distress through physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches, or through increased clinginess and temper outbursts. Teenagers, on the other hand, may become more withdrawn, irritable, or self-critical.
The Importance of Risk Assessment and When to Seek Help
While it’s normal for children and teens to experience emotional struggles, depression can become risky if left untreated. Prolonged low mood can negatively affect mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. There is also the risk that depression may lead to thoughts of self-harm or suicide. It’s vital for parents to be vigilant and to assess their child’s emotional state.
If your child exhibits any of the following signs, it’s crucial to take them seriously and seek professional support:
- Expressing feelings of wanting to die or harm themselves
- A sudden change in behavior, like becoming reckless or dangerous
- Talking about feeling worthless or like a burden
- Severe withdrawal from all social interaction, including family
- Extreme changes in mood, energy, or sleep patterns
If you are concerned that your child is at risk of self-harm or suicide, please don’t hesitate to reach out for immediate support. In the UK, you can call Samaritans at 116 123 for confidential advice or contact Childline at 0800 1111 if your child is in crisis.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can offer a safe, supportive space where children and teens can explore their emotions and develop effective coping strategies. My approach integrates Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), creating a strengths-based, practical, and empowering therapeutic experience.
Building Emotional Awareness and Self-Compassion
One of the most common challenges young people face when struggling with depression is a cycle of negative thinking. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “Nothing will ever get better” can become overwhelming and all-consuming. In therapy, we work together to challenge these unhelpful thoughts, fostering self-compassion. Research shows that self-kindness, rather than self-criticism, is a key factor in building emotional resilience (Gilbert, 2010).
ACT Strategies for Psychological Flexibility
ACT helps young people build psychological flexibility, allowing them to acknowledge difficult thoughts and emotions without being controlled by them. Through mindfulness techniques, creative exercises, and metaphor-based strategies, we teach kids how to:
- Make room for uncomfortable emotions rather than avoiding them
- Identify their core values and take small steps toward a meaningful life
- Separate themselves from negative thoughts, recognizing that they don’t have to believe them as facts
Using Behavioral Activation to Reconnect with Life
One of the powerful strategies in therapy for managing low mood and depression is Behavioral Activation. This technique focuses on helping children and teens re-engage with life by increasing positive, meaningful activities, particularly when depression leads to withdrawal or a lack of motivation.
Depression often creates a cycle where negative moods lead to avoidance of enjoyable activities, which then deepens feelings of sadness and hopelessness. Behavioral Activation interrupts this cycle by encouraging small, manageable steps toward re-engaging with activities that were once fulfilling, even if the motivation feels lacking.
For example, if a teen has stopped spending time with friends, a therapist might encourage them to plan a short interaction or reconnect with a hobby, even if it feels challenging at first. By gradually increasing exposure to positive experiences, kids can rediscover a sense of accomplishment, pleasure, and connection, helping to rebuild their emotional well-being over time.
Rebuilding Joy Through Play, Art, and Strengths-Based Approaches
For younger children, play is an essential tool for emotional processing. Art, storytelling, and creative movement allow children to express feelings they may not yet have the words for. These activities provide a safe, accessible way for them to externalize worries, process sadness, and reconnect with moments of joy.
Empowering Teens: Taking Charge of Well-Being
For adolescents, therapy can help them rediscover their sense of agency and self-worth. By addressing self-defeating beliefs and teaching problem-solving techniques, teens can focus on values-driven actions rather than waiting to “feel better” first. CBT strategies empower teens to challenge their thoughts and approach their problems with a sense of confidence.
Supporting Parents, Too
As a parent, it’s natural to want to shield your child from emotional pain, but it’s also important to recognize when certain behaviors, like excessive reassurance or avoidance, may unintentionally reinforce unhelpful patterns. In therapy, I guide parents through strategies that encourage emotional resilience in their children while maintaining a supportive, compassionate relationship.
Moving Forward with Hope
It’s easy for young people experiencing low mood to feel trapped, as if the world has shrunk in on them. But depression doesn’t have to be a permanent state. With the right support, children and teens can learn to understand and navigate their emotions, build emotional resilience, and move forward with a renewed sense of self-worth and connection to the world around them.
If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional well-being, I offer therapy in Chelsea, West London, and online throughout the UK and beyond. As a BACP-registered Children and Young People Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, I integrate ACT, CBT, and Compassion-Focused Therapy with art and play techniques to create an engaging, strengths-based therapeutic approach.
If you’re worried about your child’s well-being or would like to explore how therapy can help, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. No matter how dark things may seem, there is always hope, and your child can learn to move through their struggles with support and understanding.
References:
- Gilbert, P. (2010). The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges. New Harbinger Publications.
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change. Guilford Press.
- Weisz, J. R., & Kazdin, A. E. (2017). Evidence-based psychotherapies for children and adolescents. Guilford Press.