Helping Kids Manage Emotions & Build Resilience
Working with kids and teens has shown me just how powerful small, everyday moments can be. You don’t need grand gestures—just a bit of patience, warmth, and understanding to help children navigate their big feelings. Life can be overwhelming sometimes, and learning how to face emotions head-on is a skill that will serve them for life.
Here are some ways we can support children in managing their emotions, encouraging their strengths, and handling stress in a way that builds confidence and resilience.
1. Quality Time: Reconnecting in Small, Meaningful Ways
Kids feel safe when they know they matter. Quality time isn’t about spending hours together—it’s about making the moments count. A short walk, a chat at bedtime, or a silly inside joke can mean the world.
Ideas to try:
- Set aside “connection time” each day, even if it’s just 10 minutes, where you give them your full attention.
- Let them take the lead—whether they want to talk, play, or just sit together, follow their rhythm.
- Make small traditions, like a Friday night movie, a silly handshake, or breakfast chats. These create a sense of security.
Why it helps: When kids feel connected to a safe adult, they are more likely to talk about their feelings and challenges.
2. Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Kids hear a lot of “good job!”—but praising effort rather than just achievements helps them develop resilience. Instead of focusing on being “smart” or “talented,” we can highlight their perseverance, creativity, or courage.
Ideas to try:
- Instead of “You’re so good at drawing,” say, “I love how much detail you put into that picture!”
- Praise the effort: “I noticed you kept trying, even when it got tricky. That’s amazing!”
- Normalize mistakes: Share your own challenges and how you worked through them.
Why it helps: Research shows that focusing on effort helps kids develop a growth mindset, making them more willing to try hard things.
3. Helping Kids Handle Big Emotions
Children don’t always have the words for what they’re feeling, and sometimes their emotions come out in tricky ways—meltdowns, frustration, or shutting down. Instead of telling them to “calm down” or “stop crying,” we can help them feel understood.
Ideas to try:
- Name the feeling: “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated because your toy broke. That makes sense.”
- Validate it: “It’s okay to be upset. I’d feel that way too.”
- Offer support: “Do you want to talk about it, or should we take a break first?”
Why it helps: When kids feel seen and heard, they develop emotional intelligence and learn to manage their feelings instead of bottling them up.
4. Grounding Techniques for Anxiety and overwhelming Moments
When emotions feel too big, grounding can help bring kids back to the present. These are great for moments of stress, anxiety, or frustration.
Ideas to try:
- 5-4-3-2-1 Senses Check: “Let’s find 5 things we can see, 4 we can touch, 3 we can hear, 2 we can smell, and 1 we can taste.”
- Breathing Buddy: Have them lie down with a small stuffed animal on their belly and watch it rise and fall as they breathe.
- Get Moving: Jumping, stretching, or squeezing something soft can help release tension.
Why it helps: Grounding techniques teach kids that feelings come and go, and they have tools to manage them.
5. Supporting Kids with Anxiety & OCD: The SPACE Approach
For kids struggling with anxiety or OCD, small changes in how we respond can make a big difference. The SPACE program (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) helps parents and caregivers encourage independence while still providing emotional support.
Key principles:
- Reduce accommodations: Instead of answering the same reassurance-seeking question multiple times, gently encourage independent problem-solving.
- Encourage small steps: If a child avoids something due to fear, support them in taking tiny, manageable steps toward facing it.
- Validate but don’t overprotect: “I know this feels really hard, and I believe in you. You can handle this.”
Why it helps: When we show confidence in their ability to cope, kids start to believe in themselves too.
6. Modeling Emotional Resilience
Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. If they see us getting frustrated and snapping, they’ll assume that’s how to handle emotions. But if they see us pausing, breathing, and handling stress with patience, they’ll absorb those habits too.
Ideas to try:
- When feeling anxious, say: “I’m feeling a little nervous about this meeting, so I’m taking some deep breaths to help myself.”
- When making a mistake, say: “Oops! I messed up. It’s okay, I’ll fix it.”
- Show self-care in action—whether it’s a walk, journaling, or listening to music, let them see you managing stress in healthy ways.
Why it helps: Kids need to see that emotions are normal, and there are ways to work through them.
7. Helping Kids Focus on Their Values
When emotions get overwhelming, values can be a guiding light. Instead of reacting to feelings in the moment, we can teach kids to ask: What kind of person do I want to be?
Ideas to try:
- Ask: “What’s important to you right now?” to help shift focus from feelings to meaningful action.
- Use values to guide behavior: “I know you’re frustrated with your friend, but what kind of friend do you want to be?”
- Model this yourself: “Even though I’m tired, I’m going to help because kindness is important to me.”
Why it helps: When kids connect their actions to their values, they feel more in control and confident in their choices.
Moving Forward
Supporting children through overwhelming emotions doesn’t mean shielding them from difficult feelings—it means walking alongside them as they learn to manage them. Every moment of connection, reassurance, and encouragement helps build their emotional toolkit. By modeling resilience, offering grounding techniques, and fostering courage, we empower kids to trust themselves and face life’s challenges with confidence.
I am a BACP-registered Children and Young People Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, based in West London, Chelsea, offering private therapy for children and teens struggling with anxiety, OCD and other mental health challenges. I work with clients online across the UK and worldwide, integrating ACT, CBT, and Compassion-Focused Therapy alongside art and play techniques to support their growth in a way that is engaging and strengths-based.
If you found these strategies helpful and want to explore tailored support for your child, therapy can provide a safe space to build resilience and confidence. Feel free to get in touch to discuss how I can help.