Anxiety, OCD, low mood, and stress—whether from exams, friendships, or the pressure to succeed—can feel overwhelming. When fear shows up, our instinct is often to avoid it. But avoidance keeps us stuck. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different way: instead of running from fear, we turn toward what truly matters—our values.
Understanding OCD and Childhood Anxiety
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a condition that involves distressing, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental rituals (compulsions) aimed at reducing anxiety. Children and teens with OCD might feel compelled to check, count, or clean excessively, seek reassurance, or struggle with intrusive thoughts that cause guilt and distress. OCD is not about being ‘a little bit tidy’—it’s a disorder that can be incredibly consuming and distressing.
Childhood anxiety is a broad term that includes excessive worry, fear, and nervousness that interfere with daily life. Symptoms can include:
- Frequent worries about school, friendships, or the future
- Physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping
- Avoidance of social situations or new experiences
- Difficulty concentrating due to excessive worry
- Reassurance-seeking from parents and teachers
What Is ACT?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based therapy that helps people build psychological flexibility—the ability to navigate thoughts and emotions while still taking meaningful action. Instead of trying to ‘get rid’ of fear or distress, ACT teaches young people to acknowledge and accept difficult emotions while staying connected to their values.
The Six Core Pillars of ACT
ACT is built on six key principles:
- Cognitive Defusion – Learning to step back from unhelpful thoughts rather than getting caught up in them. For example, instead of believing ‘I must get everything right or I’ll fail,’ a student can practice noticing, ‘I’m having the thought that I must get everything right.’
- Acceptance – Allowing difficult emotions and thoughts to be there rather than trying to push them away. This means recognizing that anxiety or discomfort is part of facing fears, not a sign that something is wrong.
- Mindfulness – Staying present and aware, rather than getting stuck in worries about the past or future. Practicing grounding exercises can help young people manage anxiety and stay focused on what matters.
- Self-as-Context – Understanding that we are more than our thoughts and emotions. Instead of identifying with ‘I am anxious,’ ACT encourages the perspective ‘I notice that I am experiencing anxiety.’
- Values – Identifying what truly matters and using it as a guide for making choices. Values help young people focus on what is important rather than getting caught up in fear.
- Committed Action – Taking meaningful steps toward values, even when fear and doubt are present. This means acting in ways that align with personal values instead of avoiding discomfort.
Why Values Are the Foundation of Therapy for OCD and Anxiety
Values act as a compass in therapy for anxiety and OCD. When fear-driven behaviors take over, they often pull young people away from what truly matters to them. Therapy helps realign actions with values, creating a sense of purpose and resilience.
For instance:
- A child who values kindness but avoids social situations due to anxiety can take small steps toward connection, like smiling at a classmate or joining a group activity.
- A teen who values learning but struggles with perfectionism can practice handing in assignments even if they feel ‘not perfect.’
- A young person dealing with OCD can slowly reduce compulsions, recognizing that true freedom lies in facing uncertainty rather than seeking reassurance.
How Parents Can Support Values-Based Living
Parents play a key role in helping children and teens connect with their values. Here are some ways to support them:
- Talk about values. Ask, ‘What kind of person do you want to be?’ instead of ‘What do you want to achieve?’
- Model values-based action. Show them how you make choices based on your values, even when it’s hard.
- Encourage small steps. Praise efforts that align with their values, not just results.
- Create space for emotions. Instead of reassuring them that ‘everything will be fine,’ acknowledge their fears while encouraging action.
- Reduce accommodations. If OCD or anxiety is in control, gently guide them back toward choices that support their values instead of fear.
- Help them see patterns. When stress, perfectionism, or compulsions show up, gently ask: ‘Is this moving you toward or away from what matters to you?’
- Celebrate progress. Remind them that even small, imperfect steps toward their values are worth recognizing.
The Role of Compassion in Therapy (CFT)
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is another important approach in treating anxiety and OCD. Fear and self-criticism often go hand in hand, making it difficult for young people to move forward. CFT helps build self-compassion, allowing them to approach struggles with kindness rather than judgment.
- Instead of ‘I shouldn’t feel this way,’ self-compassion encourages ‘It’s okay to feel anxious, and I can still take a step forward.’
- Instead of ‘I failed, so I’m not good enough,’ self-compassion teaches ‘I struggled, and that’s part of learning.’
Therapy that integrates ACT and CFT helps children and teens not only face their fears but also develop a kinder, more resilient relationship with themselves.
Moving Forward
Anxiety, OCD, stress, and low mood don’t have to dictate your child’s life. By focusing on values and taking small, meaningful steps, young people can learn to face fears with courage and purpose. It’s not about eliminating difficult emotions but learning how to move forward with them.
If your child is struggling, know that support is available. As a BACP-registered Child & Adolescent Psychotherapeutic Counsellor specializing in OCD and anxiety, I work with families to help young people build resilience, confidence, and a life guided by what truly matters.
Get in touch to find out how therapy can help your child take values-based steps toward a fulfilling life.