Breaking free from rumination for kids and teens starts with understanding what it is and how it keeps us stuck. Rumination is like being stuck in an endless detective case, searching for answers that never fully resolve. It’s when your mind fixates on a problem, a fear, or a past event, analyzing it over and over in an attempt to gain certainty or relief. For those struggling with anxiety and OCD, rumination can feel overwhelming—like being trapped in a never-ending mental maze. But what if we told you there’s a way out?
Imagine yourself as a detective, but instead of endlessly investigating, you learn to step back, observe, and take effective action. Let’s go through four key steps to help you break free from rumination for kids and teens and move forward with courage and clarity.
Step 1: Listen to Your Thoughts and Feelings—Become an Observer
Every great detective starts by gathering clues. Your first step is to observe what’s happening in your mind and body. This is what we call Dropping Anchor in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). Instead of trying to push thoughts away, you take a moment to notice, name, and observe them:
- Observe: What thoughts are looping in your mind? What emotions are showing up? Is there a tightness in your chest or a racing heart?
- Name: Label your experience—“I notice I’m having a thought that I need to find the perfect solution,” or “I feel anxious and restless.”
- Validate: Accept that these thoughts and feelings are here without judgment. They don’t define you—they are just visitors in your mind.
This process helps you gain some distance from rumination, rather than getting completely lost in it.
Step 2: Ground Yourself—Return to the Present
Now that you’ve observed your thoughts, it’s time to stop them from hijacking your attention. A quick grounding exercise helps bring you back to the present moment so you can take action rather than stay stuck in analysis.
Try this 2 Senses Grouping technique:
- Take a deep breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, and exhale for 6 seconds.
- Then, engage two senses—for example, notice two things you can see and two things you can touch.
Grounding helps you create space between yourself and your thoughts so they don’t feel all-consuming. Think of it as stepping away from the detective’s evidence board for a moment, so you can see the bigger picture.
Step 3: Find a Solution & Defuse from Thoughts
Now, it’s time to shift from endless problem-solving to effective problem-solving—or realizing that sometimes, no solution is needed at all. Ask yourself:
- What have I done in the past when I’ve felt stuck, and how did I get through it?
- What would I say to a friend who was struggling with this same thought?
Defusion techniques from ACT can help loosen the grip of thoughts. Instead of saying, “I need to fix this,” try “I notice my mind is telling me I need to fix this.” This tiny shift reminds you that thoughts are just thoughts—not absolute truths.
Finally, encourage yourself with some self-compassion: “This is tough, but I’ve handled tough things before.”Remember your personal values—what truly matters to you beyond this moment of anxiety? Let that guide your next steps.
Step 4: Continue Without Engaging—Move Forward with Your Day
The final step is to practice letting the worry thoughts be there without engaging with them. Instead of getting caught up in analyzing or fighting them, allow them to exist in the background while you focus on your day.
- Acknowledge but don’t engage: When worry thoughts arise, notice them and remind yourself, “I don’t need to solve this right now.”
- Refocus on what matters: Shift your attention to an activity that aligns with your values—whether that’s work, a hobby, or spending time with loved ones.
- Keep going: The key to breaking free from rumination for kids and teens is to continue moving forward without letting rumination dictate your actions. Just like a detective knows when to close a case, you can choose to let go of the need for certainty and trust yourself to handle whatever comes next.
Final Thoughts: Moving Forward with Courage
Breaking free from rumination is a skill that takes time and practice. It’s normal for kids and teens to get stuck in overthinking, but with the right tools—observing thoughts, grounding, defusing, and continuing with their day—they can learn to manage anxiety and OCD more effectively. With patience and self-compassion, they can build resilience and regain control over their minds.
I am a BACP-registered Children and Young People Psychotherapeutic Counsellor based in West London, Chelsea, offering private therapy for children and teens struggling with OCD, anxiety, and overthinking. I work online across the UK and worldwide, using an integrative, compassionate approach tailored to each young person’s needs.
If you’d like to explore how therapy can support your child or teen, feel free to get in touch.
